Ladies, this one’s for you. (To any knights or squires who may be reading: no need to click away just yet. This describes the sort of lady worth pursuing. So read on.)
You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:4)
This verse used to bother me. A gentle and quiet spirit? Oh dear. I am sometimes harsh and judgmental, abrasive rather than gentle. I am sometimes loud, more often in my thoughts than verbally, but still not exactly quiet all the time. Nor do I always want to be gentle and quiet. Such a woman sounds meek in the negative sense of the word. She sounds like a doormat. A woman of pastel watercolors and soft speech. A woman who bows her head and silently allows others to direct and correct and stomp all over her. (Please keep in mind that some of the aforementioned qualities, in proper quantities, are positive. Accepting direction is a good thing!)
But you understand what I mean, right? This verse seems to set an impossible standard. Even the most introverted among us would struggle with it.
Then I discovered the real meaning behind it.
A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is strong. She is confident. She is secure in her identity, in a Love eternal that defines her value. It is this peaceful strength glowing in the heart of a woman of God that overflows in gentleness. This woman radiates beauty.
She does not have to brashly force her way into the limelight. She does not have to spurn men to feel valued as a woman. She does not have to use hurtful sarcasm to feel important or accepted. She is not searching desperately for love. She already has it. She is secure and steadfast. She knows exactly who she is.
She is precious to the Lord.
A woman who knows that, truly knows in her heart–a woman who lays every insecurity down at the foot of the throne–has so much more room to extend that love toward others. She is gentle with them. She extends grace for their failings because she has accepted grace for hers.
And that part about being quiet? All you bubbly, talkative personalities can breathe easy. A quiet spirit is simply one at peace with herself and with God, not tormented by worry or fear or self-condemnation. Picture it like a glassy sea undisturbed by wind. Nothing fazes this spirit; it is one that laughs without fear of the future.
This peaceful confidence, this strength, is so incredibly beautiful. And I can’t say I’m there yet. But I am on the journey. Will you join me?
To close, I’m taking a brief detour into country music, which my workplace subjects me to on a daily basis. (Somebody save me!) One of the few songs I actually like has some lyrics that fit today.
To them quiet looks like weakness
But you don’t have to fight it
‘Cause you’re strong enough to win without a war
Love this post 🙂
Hey, country music is awesome! I haven't heard that song, though, I'll have to go check it out 🙂
Aw, I'm glad. ^_^
Heh, I'm not a huge fan, but I know lots of people love it. 😉 There's the odd country song–like that one–that I do like, though. (Maybe if the songs I heard all the time weren't so much about beer, trucks, and cowgirls, I'd enjoy it more…)
I never liked that verse much either, but now that you have given me some perspective on it. I think I would like to try to be like the women described in this verse. I think the world could use some gentle women.
I agree. We girls tend to tear each other down far too much. If we could finally accept true Love, we could learn to be gentle. <3
Such a lovely post, as always <3 I too have had thoughts similar to yours. Whenever I came across a verse similar to that one, it would always bother me a little. Because I'm not exactly quiet all the time. *cough, cough* But you really raised some interesting points here. Being gentle is NOT a weakness, but rather a strength. It's not a lack of confidence, but rather an abundance of confidence in our Savior.
Thanks muchly for this! It actually fits in well with something I've been working on writing. I remember jotting down a note about gentleness not being a sign of weakness but strength. Such perfect timing 🙂
Thanks, Mary! I guess I'm not the only one who's cringed at those verses in the past. (Proverbs 31, anyone? LOL.) Okay, I LOVE how you put that: "it's not a lack of confidence, but rather an abundance of confidence in our Savior."
Ooh, brain twins! 😀
I love this! Yes, I've always felt very bothered with verses like that, but with this little insight I'm not so intimidated by it.
It's a lot more attractive in this light, isn't it?
And I officially bid you welcome! I love meeting new commenters. 🙂
There are too many good pieces here to highlight, so I'm just going to go ahead and applaud this whole post!
Another one well done. Thank you, Tracey.
Wow, thanks so much!! ^_^ I'm definitely honored that you enjoyed it.
Really well-written post! It's given me a lot to chew on. I definitely agree that the verse is not telling us that God wants all females to be doormats. I'm still wrestling with "wives submit to your husbands" and "women should remain silent in church" and similar passages, but the important things for me to remember when I get stuck on verses like these are the unfailing truths that God loves me and created me precious in his sight and has great plans for my future.
Also, on a less serious note – poor you, having to listen to country music all day! I have about a three song limit and then I need to change it up before I go crazy. :p
So glad it offered some food for thought. 🙂
Yeah, I wrestle with those passages too… Some of those commands are obviously cultural, like head covering, but still. They're not exactly clear cut. 😛 Your comment reminded me of something I read in a study Bible we have. I was trying to find the particular passage today, with no luck, but I did find notes about being silent in church. It says that 'silence' is often translated better as 'be in quietness'–expressing an attitude of being composed and not unruly. Apparently these women, who were not well educated in spiritual matters at the time, were abusing their newfound freedom and causing division and confusion. (Whoops, didn't mean to go on a whole Bible study there!) Anyway, there's still so much to dig into and discover on this topic.
LOL, thanks for the sympathy. Yesterday we started playing Christmas music instead . . . which I thought would be better than country, but apparently half the songs are the *annoying* Christmas songs. XD
What a deep insight to this verse! Honestly, this post is life changing.
Sometimes these passages can be a little confusing and even discouraging. It is so important that we understand their deep meaning and the context of the words used. I love how you said a quiet spirit is strength. I think I need that reminder often. Because what the world may see as weakness, God sees as strength. We can't let worldly views waver our faith in Him and batter down our strength.
I think this was something I vaguely understood, but your words brought it into such a clear light. I am so excited to finally fully grasp this, to understand it's complete meaning.
You are such a light to this world! Thank you for letting God use you and sharing this post. <333
Yes, context is SO important! Context, context, context! Sometimes I wish I knew more about the cultural/historical background of some passages, or even some of Jesus' parables. I feel like digging into that stuff would make it so much richer…
Exactly–what others see as weakness, God sees as strength. You said it so well!
Ah, girl, your comment just warms my heart! Thank you! Honestly, the idea that my thoughts can encourage even just one person excites me to no end, and I'm so glad this touched you. <333
Oh, this is beautiful! Thanks so much for writing this – it's a message we never hear from this oh-so-lost and broken world.
Love this blog, by the way. 🙂
Thanks, Lucy–I'm really happy you enjoyed it! ^_^ Yes, our world needs to hear a lot more on the topic of true beauty.
Welcome! I'm thrilled that you're enjoying my little ramblings. Always glad to meet another new 'face' in the blogosphere!
This was so beautiful Tracey! I loved it! I think we often forget there is this middle ground. We think it's either doormat or control freak. But this middle ground is I think one of the most incredible things God has given to us women. 🙂
Thank you, dear girl! For every mile of road, there's two miles of ditch, right? 😉 I hadn't thought of it in that context; this being the middle ground. Thanks for the insight!
This is such a wonderful post, Tracey, I loved it! This whole thing is just beautiful. I've wondered about those verses too and, funny thing is, my sister and I recently had a conversation with our grandma about it, and she said just about the same things you did :D. Thank you for posting this, I really enjoyed reading it!
~Savannah Perran
Thank you, Savannah! Your grandma sounds awesome. I think that's so neat how you and your sister talked about this with her. 😀
Glad you enjoyed the post!
This is really sweet. ^ ^ This verse has actually comforted me, because I'm quieter than most people around me. XD
storitorigrace.blogspot.com
You know what, it IS a comfort. I'm often the quiet one too (I just feel loud and not-so-gentle in my own head sometimes). I guess I've had conflicting feelings on this verse.
Thanks, Tori! ^_^