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Fallen Short But Falling Upward: Reflections for the New Year

How often do we inflict burdens of our own making on ourselves? Expectations of who we should be, how much we should accomplish—and how fast. Especially now, near the end of a year and the beginning of the next, I find myself measuring the last twelve months. Passing judgement on how I’ve performed. Plotting out how to be more productive, more successful, more EVERYTHING next time.

Reflection is good, and so is making plans. I’m not about to tell you (or myself) to stop setting goals and trying to meet them.

But if you’re anything like me, a goal or New Year’s resolution can quickly become a self-created law. And much like the Pharisees who piled hundreds of new commandments atop the original ten, our self-imposed expectations can become a heavy weight to bear.

“So it makes no sense to me that some of you are testing God by burdening His disciples with a load that neither our forefathers nor we have been able to carry. No, we all believe that we will be liberated through the grace of the Lord Jesus—they also will be rescued in the same way.”

Peter speaking in Acts 15:10-11 (VOICE)

No matter how perfectly I craft my goals at the beginning of a new year, by December I have always fallen short somewhere. Granted, I’m often further along than I would have been without a goal at all, but the point is, I do fall short. And in that gap between where I landed and where I meant to be, there lies the disappointment, the condemnation, the hundreds of “Yes, but not quites…”

Goals half-reached do not bring freedom.

Neither do goals fully accomplished.

But grace does.

Grace is realizing that you are loved and whole already, that the sweat of your brow and the blood of your work-torn hands do not add to your worthiness.

It’s realizing that the many of the expectations to which you’ve been enslaved were written by your own hand, and that you can rip them up and throw them away anytime.

It’s knowing that yes, you are not enough, but knowing too that Someone else is and that He took your place, filling your void with His fullness forever.

It’s realizing that the only thing required of you now is belief. Belief in the One who absolved all wrongs and shouldered all burdens.

You and I have received grace upon grace upon grace. And even when we misuse or fail to value this incredible gift, there is grace for those failings too.

All at once, my shoulders are lighter. I realize I am free from the blood of all men, free from all condemnation (including my own)—and whom the Son sets free is free indeed!

So if this is what I am free from… what am I free for?

Free to love as I am loved.

Free to create with joy and wonder, child-like once again.

Free to forgive as I have been forgiven.

Free to serve with no expectations attached.

Free to live in the moment with no fear of the future.

Free to dream without bounds.

Free to use goals only as a map, not as a measure of my worth.

Free to run toward something beautiful instead of running from a fear of inadequacy.

Free to take my Father’s hand every morning and say, “I trust Your love for me.”

I am free indeed. And from grace’s high vantage point, the view is stunning. Look at the adventures that lie ahead! Traveling light, now I can go far. And whenever I forget this grace—as we all do from time to time—I can always return here and remember.

Remember my blood-bought, grace-won freedom, and rejoice anew.

As you take stock of this year and chart new paths for the next, let this grace settle into the cracks of your broken expectations. Let it free you to dream with fewer doubts. And let it be the wild mountain air in your lungs as you run headlong into a fresh, new year.

12 Comments

  1. Christine Smith

    I do not even have words to properly express how much I love this. This line especially smacked me (in the best way possible): “Free to use goals only as a map, not as a measure of my worth.”

    Goodness yes, I needed that reminder! I do set these burdensome goals on myself and measure my worth with them. I have to remind myself again and again and again my worth does not come from how much I do. I’m getting better though. These past two years have been a HUGE time of growth as I’ve come to simply learn to LIVE and not be so bent on getting All The Things done. It is still a work in progress, probably always will be, but as you said grace upon grace upon grace!

    Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful message. This is EXACTLY what I needed as I get ready to dive into a new year. Your words strike light and truth into my life every single time.

    Love you, dear friend. I do hope your 2022 is overcome with grace and love and blessings. <333

    • Tracey Dyck

      I’m really glad it struck a chord! <3

      Sounds like we're on exactly the same page! I've seen goals in a somewhat unhealthy way for so long, but over the past few years that perception has been changing for the better. I used to think getting All The Things done is the pinnacle of success too, and YES, I'm still such a work in progress!

      Ahhh, that makes my heart happy to hear. Thank you, Christine! I hope your 2022 is off to an AMAZING start, and that it's full of wonderful, grace-led adventures.

  2. Amelie

    Ohhh, Tracey, thank you so, so much for writing this post. I needed to read it so much, and God really hit me with your words today. Happy New Year, and I pray that it is indeed full of grace and joy!

    • Tracey Dyck

      I’m so late in replying, but thank YOU, Amelie!!! Glad this came at just the right time for you. I feel like I needed to write this for myself just as much as anyone. Hope you have an amazing, grace-and-rest-filled new year!

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