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hey dreamer

hey dreamer
when did your dream become a to-do list?
a series of boxes to be checked?
when did that big, airy wonder
shrivel down to a sheet of paper?

hey dreamer
when did your dream become a memory?
an old photograph?
a distant crackle on the radio
reminding you of long-gone days?

hey dreamer
when did it become a mirage?
a trick of the light?
a shimmer of bitter possibility
in a strangely cold desert of reality?

hey dreamer
when did it become a burden?
a ten-ton weight laid across your shoulders?
a crushing suffocation
measuring your spine and timing your steps?

hey dreamer
when did it become a secret?
a well-worn hideaway?
a crumpled little trinket
you keep in a box hidden under the bed?

hey dreamer

when did the fire in your heart become the fire at your heels?
when did now lose its luster to back then?
when did someday become maybe become never?
when did summer-light wings turn to lead?
when did your banner fray and fade?

hey dreamer

can you tell me when?
tell me why?

i wish you’d remember
recall
recollect
gather up
stir up
cradle close to your chest:

the joy

the joy of the dream that once put a sword in your hand and the stars in your eyes
the wonder of the thing that pulled you around every expectant corner
the beat in your chest so loud and so hard some days that the joy of it all just hurt

hey dreamer . . .
it’s still there, you know
you can find it again

50 Comments

  1. Patrick Stahl

    I can dig it. As I often do, I read it aloud in a random voice, and the voice reminded me of the villain from the film No Country for Old Men. Have you seen it? It would be pretty terrifying to actually hear the villain read it, slowly, smiling.

  2. Anna

    Wow Tracey I needed this. On so many levels and so many lines hit me right in the heart. You have a twisting descriptive way of writing that leaves the heart convicted and determined to change.
    Thank you so so so much for writing this xxx

    • admin

      Doing amazing and being amazing are two entirely different things (and for the record, I'm still trying to get that difference through my skull!). So regardless, you ARE amazing. <333

      But I know what you're getting at with wanting to try again and start fresh–and to that I say, you go, girl!!!

  3. Emily

    a crushing suffocation
    measuring your spine and timing your steps?

    ^My fave lines. That captures the feeling so perfectly of being weighed down, of being pixellated into someone else's expectations. Love it.

  4. Lisa // Inkwell

    omw love this <3 sorry for late comment xD I was going back thru my feed to see what I had missed commenting on and saw this and I was like, "oh yeah I knew I was missing something." I think you nailed it <333

    lisa

  5. Christine Smith

    Oh, Tracey. I…I have no words. I'm literally near to tears. Not even joking. I just…I NEEDED THIS. I can't even express to you how much I needed this at this very moment.

    That first part hit me so hard I think I PHYSICALLY felt it. Because I have been turning my dreams into to-do lists. They ARE a series of boxes to be checked and usually my dreams are a BURDEN these days. So this hit so, so, SO hard. Because it's actually something I've been thinking about! And then I came and read this and it was like God Himself whispering to me to take JOY in my dreams. To just enjoy the journey and stop stressing about it all. Just take it a day at a time and have fun, instead of worrying about getting things done or that being published will never happen and being burdened by all the stress.

    I've already read this three times and want to read it again and again and again. And oh my word, IS IT BEAUTIFUL. "when did summer-light wings turn to lead?" *clutches heard* I just want to soak up these gorgeous words and cling to them forever.

    THANK YOU, TRACEY. Thank you so much! I'm seriously about to cry. I needed this so bad. I WILL go find the joy of my dreams again. Because what's the point on working toward something if we just turn it into a burden? GAH. THANK YOOOUUU!!! *huuuugs*

    • admin

      Awww, Christine! <3 Isn't it funny how God works? Because your comment today came right when *I* needed it. It was one of those trying-to-juggle-everything-and-not-having-time-for-dreams kind of days. So hearing all of that in your words was just the reminder I needed. (Reminds of your latest post, talking about how we seem to need to learn the same lesson 13420948 times.)

      I'm so guilty of that myself! And of course we NEED goals–discipline is a healthy thing. But not when we become our own slave-drivers. Yes, yes, yes: enjoying the journey is another one of those things I relearn over and over! It's counterintuitive, but I suspect the more joy we take in the process, the faster (and better!) we'll actually get it done.

      Three times? Oh goodness! GIRL, YOU'RE TOO SWEET. *hugs* <333 I so, so agree–"what's the point on working toward something if we just turn it into a burden?" Let's rediscover the joy together, okay? ^_^

  6. Keturah Lamb

    wow. this was beautiful. I mean is beautiful. I really felt like I was relating to it… life is crazy. I still have my dreams… but right now I am working for them so hard I forget their beauty as I'm swamped with, "Just let me sleep."

    • admin

      Thank you, Keturah! In a way, I'm sorry it's relatable, because I wish it wasn't–but in another way, I'm glad, because then we know we're not alone in this.

      I know the feeling of working too hard (and needing sleep!). I hope we both can let go enough to relax this weekend. <3

  7. Hannah White

    Oh my word, Tracey. I am floored. Like … wow. CAN I PUT THIS ON MY WALL??? PLEASE?? That was so beautiful and I might be about to go read it again and again and just sob like a baby. Thank you so so much for this aklsdfjlhasdkjfh <3

    • admin

      Hannah, you've officially made my day! If you want to hang it on your wall, GO FOR IT. I would be honored! You keep dreaming those dreams, okay? *hugs*

    • Hannah White

      I've literally been refreshing this page since Sunday 😛 THANK YOU SO MUCH. Are you sure you don't mind? Cause I really want to. I've had it on a loop in my mind and even have a portion of it memorized now. IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. My favorite part is, "When did the fire in your heart become the fire at your heels? When did now lose its luster to back then? When did now become maybe become never? When did summer light wings turn to lead?" Just … SO BEAUTIFUL *sobs*

    • admin

      Ack, I'm sorry to make you wait! Do I mind?! HANNAH, I AM COMPLETELY DELIGHTED AND BLOWN AWAY THAT YOU WANT TO HANG IT UP. I'm serious. If this poem really does encourage you that much, then putting it where you can see it and remind yourself to keep that fire…that's more than I imagined would come out of sharing this post with all of you.

      You're a beautiful person. Thanks for encouraging ME! <3

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