Last we saw our dear Hero, he was descending into the depths of the dwarven mountain mines to slay a mighty beast. If you missed any of the previous instalments in this series poking fun at a bunch of fantasy tropes, here’s a quick rundown with links:

• Origin Story // In which Hero grows up in Quaint Village, Mentor is mysterious, Incentive dies, Villain’s backstory is disclosed, and Hero discovers his singular purpose: to save the world.
• The Journey Begins // In which Hero and Mentor set off to save the world, horses are invincible, Hero is wounded, Mentor is characteristically mysterious, and they take refuge with the elves.
• A Refuge Disturbed // In which Hero falls instantly in love with an elf princess, hour-long ballads are sung, Hero tries to impress the princess and makes a deadly mistake, but Deus Ex Dragon comes to the rescue.
• A Side Quest // In which our fearsome trio escapes certain death, romantic tension blossoms between Hero and the elf princess, and everyone is kidnapped by dwarves.

The platform sways as the dwarves lower me down the pitch-black mine shaft. My torchlight flits over the smoothly carved sides, and my heart thunders in my chest. Those blasted dwarves gave me no weapon, just their bellowed order to kill the Gorlab beast and take the gem it stole… or else my friends will die.

“Great.” My voice shakes.