Recently, I’ve been thinking about the power of thankfulness. How it grounds us in this present moment. How it drives out fear and replaces it with peace. How it leads to real, actual, hold-it-in-your-hands joy. It’s no coincidence that I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. As I slowly page through Ann’s journey of eucharisteo—the Greek term for when Jesus broke the bread and gave thanks in Luke 22—I find myself on a closer lookout for reasons to give my own thanks.
2020 was wild and exhausting for many reasons, but in spite of it all, my rearview mirror shows me countless blessings. Silver linings. Little reasons to smile. All-encompassing gifts. And I want to pause for a moment to reflect. To say thank you.
It’s my custom every January to write a blog post looking back at last year’s progress and looking ahead to the new year’s goals. Because those are things I thrive on: setting objectives, measuring my momentum.
But if last year taught me anything, it’s that as good as goals are, I can’t measure the worth of my day, my year, or myself by them.
So THIS year… let’s do it a little differently. Instead of progress, I want to count blessings. And above setting goals, I want to cast a vision.
Pour a cup of coffee, grab your coziest sweater, and let’s reflect and dream together a little.
Family Time
I absolutely have to list this one first! Being stuck at home for months on end could have meant boredom and frustration… but overwhelming any negative aspects was all the quality time I got to spend with my siblings and parents. I think we’re closer than ever now.
My Job
I feel blessed to have not only kept my job, but to have grown there in so many ways. Working from home for part of the year was also pretty great! And being part of a Christian nonprofit, it touched my heart to see how many people found hope in a difficult time through the ministry.
Small Group
My church began doing online small groups last spring, and getting to discuss life + faith with a group of other young women every week has been really encouraging.
Vacation & Realm Makers
I still got to go on a family holiday last summer, which was so refreshing and needed. And Realm Makers went virtual, so I was able to attend from home!
Writing Progress
I know, I said this was going to be less about progress and more about blessings, BUT! To be honest, much of last year was a creative dry spell for me. So to look back and see that words happened even then… that IS a blessing.
I finished the sixth draft and line edits for The Brightest Thread, my Sleeping Beauty retelling. For all intents and purposes (at least for now), this book is DONE!!! At the end of last year, I also started researching literary agents in earnest and working on my query.
In between, I completed a few short stories…
- My Mad Max: Fury Road-inspired flash fiction, Seven Canisters of Dark, got published in Havok’s Bingeworthy anthology
- The Heart of a Shadow had the honor of being included in the Warriors Against the Storm anthology in support of Mary Weber
- And I released Petrichor, a spooky-but-heartfelt short story, to my newsletter subscribers (if you haven’t signed up yet, click the title!)
On a smaller note, participating in #Writetober on Instagram—writing 50-word stories based on daily prompts—helped fan the creative spark again. Here’s two of my favorites!
New Hobbies & Fandoms
I’m telling you, last year was the time for expanding my entertainment horizons, learning new things, and joining ALL THE FANDOMS! I could talk excitedly about all these these things for hours, but here’s a brief look at my favorite discoveries.
K-pop // The genre itself wasn’t new for me, but prior to last year, I listened mostly to EXO and SHINee. Now I’ve added more groups to my ever-expanding playlists: namely Stray Kids, Day6, and ATEEZ.
ESPECIALLY Stray Kids. Not only do I find their music ridiculously catchy and creative, but seeing their zany humor and family-like connection to each other brought a lot of joy on days when my brain was too tired to do anything but watch one of their backstage vlogs. If you’re curious what their music sounds like, their recent title track Back Door is fantastic. 😉
*casually drops the music video here*
Speaking of K-pop…
Learning Korean // I’ve been wanting to learn a second language since forever but never did anything about it until last year. Using the Duolingo app along with the Talk to Me in Korean podcast, I’m now six months into this learning journey and it’s so fun!
New ways of taking in stories // When writing was especially hard and reading was slow, I got my story fix through watching anime (which I never thought I’d love) or reading Webtoons. Some of the anime shows I’m watching have become HUGE favorites, especially Attack on Titan and My Hero Academia. Seriously, I need to write a post about their storytelling techniques.
(Also, while we’re on the topic of shows, my favorite movies of last year were Train to Busan, Tenet, Mad Max: Fury Road, and the ever-popular Howl’s Moving Castle!)
Art // If you’re following my Instagram, you might’ve seen a few appearances in my stories… but last year I rediscovered my love of pencil art. It’s been SO good for my soul to have a tangible, off-screen, non-words hobby. This is one of my favorite recent pieces:
I know I dwelt on the fun/fandom side of things a bit here, but there was SO much in life to be thankful for last year. The biggest thing was a marked change in my mindset. I began to measure my days differently. I gave myself more grace to take breaks. I loosened the ties between what I do and who I am.
Now, looking ahead…
My word for 2020 was rooted. And I still feel the same—I want to focus even more on doing the underground, unseen work this year.
I want to slow down on purpose. Unplug more often. Take walks and work with my hands and look people in the face. Talk to Jesus and search for the oft-overlooked gifts throughout my day.
I want to continue swimming around in story, whether that’s soaking in someone else’s creation or writing my own or getting better at art.
As far as reading goes, I’m not sure if I’ll even set a Goodreads goal (except for at the end of the year so I can get the stats, haha). Maybe it should be more about loving what I read than counting what I read. Although I do know that I want to finish my collection of Grimm’s Fairy Tales, read at least four nonfiction books, reread The Lunar Chronicles and Tales of Goldstone Wood (or at least start), and work through more of my owned TBR list!
In the writing world, I DO have a few goals, but aside from one, I’m refraining from making them numbers-oriented (like “write X number of words” or “finish a manuscript by July”). Technically, it’s smart to quantify your goals, but I’m in a place right now when I need to reawaken the joy of creating. And knowing myself, stressing out over a self-imposed deadline isn’t the route to take. Who knows, I may find it helpful to instate some clearer guideposts later in the year. But for now…
Writing Goals
- Query at least 30 agents with The Brightest Thread. I was tempted to up that number, but it’s a waiting game, and I plan to query in small batches. (But can we scream for a second? TBT is going to go knock on the doors of ACTUAL AGENTS.)
- Start a new novel.
- Attend Realm Makers again.
Yep, that’s it.
Okay, so I might throw in a short story or two, but my MAIN focus is querying and working on a brand new project in the meantime. It’s been so, so long since I last drafted a novel—the last time was November 2019, and the time before that was summer of 2017. Needless to say, I’m thrilled to embark on a completely new adventure!
Want a peek at what this adventure will be? (Of course you do. And even if you don’t, I’m too excited not to talk about it. 🤪)
OKAY. SO. I’m debating between two different stories…
- Welcome to Absurdity // The title and atmosphere for this one has been percolating in my brain for SEVEN YEARS. (I kid you not.) It has yet to give me an actual PLOT, but I know it’ll be a strange mix of horror and psychological thriller and possibly light fantasy with a touch of the bizarre. Think “insane asylum meets Ted Dekker meets The Maze Runner.” Or…. something like that.
- Dead Magic // You may remember this as my Nano project in 2019! It’s an urban fantasy, and it features fairy tale artifacts bursting to life, Once Upon a Time vibes, a cross-Canada road trip, and a whole cauldron’s worth of snark.
I’ve started brainstorming Welcome to Absurdity… we’ll see if it’s ready to be written or needs more time to stew.
If it’s the latter, then I’ll be rewriting Dead Magic. But here’s the catch—I’m 99% sure I’ll rewrite it WITHOUT REREADING MY OLD DRAFT.
Gasp! The horror! One of my writer friends challenged me to try this, saying that when you rewrite an older manuscript, you can get tripped up trying to preserve your old writing rather than crafting a stronger story. Besides, what you remember are the best parts anyway. (And of course I’d revisit the original afterward to see if there’s anything I forgot that’s worth working back in.)
Sooo… that’s what’s on the horizon!
Oh, and somewhat under the writing umbrella, I want to work on being more consistent on Instagram, sending more fun stuff in my monthly newsletter, and dusting off this blog more often than once every month or two. (Heh.)
Speaking of which, keep your eyes peeled for a giveaway coming up!
Here’s to a year of creating, loving people, and facing the horizon with hope.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your thoughts and dreams! 💕 Such great perspective!
Thanks so much, Michelle! ❤️ Glad it was encouraging!
Such a beautiful post, Tracey! I loved reading your thoughts about 2020. Your perspective of counting blessings really struck me – even in a year like 2020, there’s still so many things we can appreciate and be grateful for!
(and yesss to joining all the fandoms!!! I also got into MHA and AOT this year – they’re both amazing! But of course, you already knew that. XD)
I wish you the BEST of luck querying TBT – it’s so exciting to see you get this far!! And maybe see you at Realm Makers? *shrugs* 😀
Aw, thank you, Nicole! Hugs! I definitely struggled to remember the blessings during a lot of last year, but when I took a step back and opened my eyes, there were SO many.
Yasssss, I’m so glad we can flail about MHA and AOT together! Who are your favorite characters from each? I’d have to say mine are Iida and Captain Levi, respectively. 😉
Thanks so much!!! It’s kind of surreal to be at this point, but I’m excited to see what’s next. Oooh, I really really hope to see you at RM! I’m praying travel restrictions are lifted by then. <3
Aaahhhh, girl! I can’t even express how much I love this! And it’s crazy how we are constantly on the same brainwaves, because SO much of what you talked about are things I’ve been pondering too. At the beginning of this month, I decided to sit down and go month by month of 2020 writing down blessings from each month. Instead of focusing on how hard the year was, I wanted to remember the good bits. And by the time I finished my list? I realized…2020 really wasn’t such a bad year after all! There was SO much growth and blessings from it, and I’m beginning to be thankful for 2020 and all its insanity.
I’m so glad you had lots of beautiful days with your family and your job and found so many big and little joys throughout the year. I, too, have been reflecting on how THAT is the thing that matters. Not how much I accomplish but just…living! I actually have a post going up tomorrow touching on these very things. We are such twins and I love it! 😀
And EEP. I love your vision for 2021! I’M SO THRILLED ABOUT TBT BEING QUERIED AAAAHHHH!!!! Praying for you as you jump into this big new step! <3 And oh my goodness, Welcome to Absurdity or Dead Magic may be in the works??? THIS IS HAPPY NEWSSS. The whole concept of WTA is just so, so epic and OF COURSE you know I love Dead Magic because hello??? FAIRY TALES. So I am absolutely ecstatic about EITHER of them! Also, the idea of writing a new draft without reading over the old one is a brilliant idea. :O Because YES. Sometimes I do trip myself off leaning too heavily on the old draft and not killing my darlings and all that stuff. So that is such a grand idea and one I am filing away!
ANYWAYS. I loved this post so, so much! Thank you for sharing your heart with us and all the goodness that came from 2020. I do hope your 2021 proves to be beautiful! <3
Christine, your comment made me smile so big! Thank you, friend! <333 I shouldn't even be surprised anymore at how often we're on the same wavelength, but WHOA, that's awesome. And you're so right, it's the *living* that matters far, far more than the arbitrary goals we set or accomplishments we reach. (Which is something I knew intellectually, but now feel like I'm beginning to really KNOW more deeply.)
Can't wait to read that post! 😀
And ahhhh, THANK YOUUUUU!!! It's crazy to finally have a finished novel that I'm confident in, and I love that now you and I will be query-sisters, searching for agents at the same time. Yessss, I'm beyond excited about BOTH of those stories--and your enthusiasm only makes it even more exciting! <3 Now if only I knew which one to work on first! XD Sometimes I envy those writers who can bounce back and forth between projects. Knowing me, I'll have to pick one thing and immerse myself in it. And right?! That no-looking-back technique will definitely be an interesting experiement.
Sending hugs for your sweet comment! Praying you have an incredible, wondrous 2021 as well, Christine!
I’m so happy you had a good 2020!
You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you mention SKZ here XDD Who’s your bias?
Also your art is fantastic!! <3
Also super super excited for the future of TBT! <3
Thanks, Sarah! <3
Ahhh, I KEEP FORGETTING YOU'RE A STAY TOO. Yay!!! xD Definitely a tossup between Chan and Changbin, haha. Chan is so humble and Changbin's hilarious--and both of them (okay, ALL of them) are incredibly talented. Who's your bias??
Awww, thank you so much! <3 Hope you have an AMAZING 2021!
Oooh I love them both so much as well! Probably Chan, Felix, or I.N! (Also Seungmin is pretty amazing as well!)
Aw, nice! It’s impossible to pick just one, haha. They all bias-wreck me left, right, and center all the time. XD
This was a beautiful and encouraging post. Thank you for sharing it.
I struggled a lot through 2020. A part of me kind of wanted to just leave it behind and pretend that there was nothing good about it, that it was all darkness. But that isn’t true. There were moments of beauty that I cannot ignore into nonexistence.
I saw my family grow closer together.
I learned new ways to dig into the Scriptures. I spent more time on my knees before my King than ever before. I spent time in the storm and came to a new empathy for Peter, standing on those waves and losing focus. I spent time in the storm and learned what it is to rest in the peace of my Savior’s hands.
I learned to treasure every moment we have, and the importance of hugs. I learned the importance of making sure that the people I love know that I love them.
I learned to appreciate technology, and I learned the importance of not being addicted to technology.
I rediscovered the beauty of the great outdoors, and our family spent many happy hours outside, biking, hiking, splashing in creeks, climbing on rocks, exploring caves, and just generally enjoying time outside.
I learned that things that seem big aren’t really so important. And things that seem little are more important than I knew.
I learned to be thankful for the things I have. I learned that trust is an ongoing process, and that it takes daily renewal, just like reading the Scriptures and prayer.
I learned to turn to the Word and to prayer when I am frustrated or angry or afraid, and not to facebook.
I learned that God is still in control, even when the world feels out of control. I learned that He is seated on the throne, and that he has never relinquished one iota of his power or sovereignty. And he never will.
And when I look back on these things I learned… I cannot deny the truth. It was a good year. In many ways, a beautiful year.
Sorry for writing a blog post of a comment. But these are the things I have been pondering and mulling over for quite a while now, and your post (and Christine’s) just sort of brought it all bubbling to the surface.
You’re going to Realm Makers?!? Are you going in person or virtual? I’m still trying to decide if I can make it… I want to go in person… but I have a lot of other book-related expenses happening this year. And finding someone to watch the hobbits for the weekend isn’t always easy. They’re extremely good and wonderful and well-behaved hobbits, but there are a lot of them. 😀
Your pencil drawing is AMAZING!!! I am in awe. Also slightly jealous.
HAPPY EXCITED SCREAMING AND DANCING because TBT is finished and being sent out to agents!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JENELLE, I have to echo everything you said about 2020, because YES. There were so many days I wanted to pack up the year in a box, shove it under the bed, and forget it ever existed. But at the same time, it forced me to reexamine things and re-shuffle my priorities–something that needed doing.
Like you said, it was a very Peter-on-the-waves time. Thank you for sharing that! <3 (Never apologize! I love hearing from you!) And yesss, Christine's post was so timely for me too.
The plan is to go in person, so long as travel restrictions lift! And if not, apparently I can switch to a virtual ticket without a hitch. I can imagine handling the hobbit situation definitely makes it harder to do conferences, but I so hope you can come! I'd love to see you again! 😀
Aw, THANK YOU! I must confess that I spent more hours drawing than writing last year. XD
MEEP, YOUR EXCITEMENT IS CONTAGIOUS!!! I can't wait to move TBT along to the next stage, and your amazing feedback (*cough* a few years ago) helped me get to this point... so thank you!
I’m glad you found a lot to be thankful for in 2020. I love K-pop. My sister and I have been wanting to learn Korean because we’ve been watching a lot of K-dramas. I love EXO need to start listening to Stray Kids they’re really good!
Omigoodness your art! Beautiful!!
I’m so excited that your querying, I sense good things for TBT!
Ooooh, tell me your favorite K-dramas! I’ve been watching a few lately too and would love recommendations. Learning Korean is super fun, and YES YES YES to Stray Kids! 10/10 would recommend! 😉
Aw, thank you so much for the encouragement, Skye! <3 I can't wait to see what this year holds in store for you. Praying it's a wonderful one!
Looking at blessings instead of progress is a great mindset! Progress is great, but can also just remind you of the progress you DIDN’T make. But you can’t really go wrong with being grateful for the blessings you saw in your life! And I’m glad you found some in a crazy year like 2020.
I love your art so much! It really makes me want to get back into drawing again. It’s always challenging when I start it again but it’s something I do quite enjoy!
Querying 30 agents?? Ahhh that’s so exciting! I wish you the best of luck! 😀 And rewriting a book without looking at the first draft? Oof, just the thought terrifies me. I don’t think I could ever. xD But I’m sure you’ll rock it! <3
I can't wait to see you at Realm Makers! Praying everything works out! (but it's great that there's the virtual conference to fall back on should things take a turn! Everything going virtual has benefited so many people lately!)
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Exactly. It’s easy to get discouraged about where you fell short of your goals, but it ALWAYS gives me a boost to look back and see how far I’ve come!
Aw, thank you so much, girl! I didn’t know you were into art too. I say GO FOR IT, and I’d love to see your creations! <3
That's the goal--something to reach for anyway, haha! I'm suuuper excited to take the leap. 😀 And as for the rewrite... well, the first draft itself is pretty terrifying, so it might be for the best to ignore its existence for a little while. XD
Same!!! Can't wait to meet you and all the other Realmies this summer!
I’m glad that 2020 had highlights for you! The best parts of if for me was going to Disney and Universal with friends before the world turned upside down and then in the middle of the insanity going to Yellowstone and just enjoying the peacefulness of nature. It was definitely what I needed.
I’m so glad you got the chance to go on that trip BEFORE things got crazy. I have yet to visit Disney or Universal myself, but that sounds super fun! 😀 Same with Yellowstone! Hope you encounter even more good adventures in ’21, Tori. <3
This was such a beautiful post, Tracey! I’m so happy you had a lot of joys in your 2020 to look back on. *hugs*
Those two 50 word stories were amazing!
Your pencil art is SOOO good! ^_^
I’m so excited that you’re querying BTB! Your two other stories sound amazing!!!
Some things that brought me joy last year were finally becoming a part of the blogging community and making wonderful online friends, finally finishing a complete draft of the novel that started my writing journey, and special moments with my family.
Thanks so muuuuch, Jen! *hugs back* Awww, I’m glad you liked those mini stories and the artwork. 😀
I for one am very glad you joined the blogging community too! *throws confetti* CONGRATS on finishing the first draft of that novel–that’s huge! And those family moments are so precious. Here’s to even more memories in 2021!
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