“Chase your dreams and follow your heart!”
That’s what they say, but they neglect to mention that the dreams of your heart might look and feel a little different than you expected. Sometimes you arrive at a place you’ve been dreaming about, and it surprises you. Instead of the rose garden you thought you were getting, there are—goodness, was that a thorn?
This seems to happen the most when we tie our happiness to a milestone. “Things will be so much better once I….”
“Figure out where I want to go to school.”
“Finish this busy thing that’s taking all my time.”
“Get that vacation.”
“Graduate.”
“Get my dream job.”
“Publish my debut novel.”
“Start doing X.”
“Stop doing X.”
It’s an endless rabbit trail. As soon as you reach that coveted milestone and realize it’s not quite as fulfilling as you expected, you’re instantly drawn to the next one. And the next.
I was thinking yesterday on my drive home about all the authors I know or follow, and the little peeks they’ve given me into the world of publishing. Things like getting a debut published, but then returning to square one when there’s no follow-up contract for the next book.
Things like working their tails off when a deadline is looming—a deadline that doesn’t much care about you getting 8 hours of sleep or taking Christmas off or crossing the country for a loved one’s funeral.
Things like meeting outrageous success, and then sitting down at the keyboard and freezing up as you wonder how you can beat that with an even better book.
Being a published author is one of my own biggest dreams, but the longer I work toward it, the more I realize that it’s not all fun and games once you get there. So I can’t tie my happiness or sense of worth to a book contract.
“Good grief, Tracey, this is getting depressing,” you might say. Hear me out. I’ve got two things to share with you.
The first is this—life doesn’t get better because you accomplish something, obtain something, start something, or finish something.
It gets better now when you realize that you are living your dream this very second.
All those clichés about it being a journey and not a destination? They’re kinda true. Think about the stories you love. You don’t love them just for the triumphant ending when the epiphany comes and the light shines down from the heavens and the hero wins the day.
You love them for the struggle, the in-between, the adventure. That’s what you’re living right now, darling. So Thing Number One is that you and I can stop anxiously striving for “The End” and live instead for all the chapters along the way. Especially the one we’re in.
The second thing is that if you’ve reached one of those milestone moments and find yourself wondering, “Why isn’t this easier?” …that’s normal.
All of those milestones, those upgrades in life—they seem to come with a new set of problems. Just when you figured out how to beat your current set, you level up and the challenges get harder. The bosses are bigger. The stakes are higher.
Life doesn’t get easier. And yet… it does. You get better at solving those problems. You might even get so good, you anticipate Level 1 problems and take steps to circumvent them ahead of time. But new problems always crop up: the Level 2 kind. They’re different and more complex than anything you’ve faced before. But you’re going to figure them out.
So if it feels like things just aren’t getting easier, look back for a second. Whatever stressed you out as a twelve-year-old probably isn’t a big deal anymore, right? You solve those issues all the time now without even blinking. (I don’t know about you, but my biggest problem at age twelve was picking my birthday party theme. Spoiler alert: it was pretty lame.)
You’re facing bigger challenges now. But you are bigger. Your capacity, your skills, your emotional maturity have all been growing. So Thing Number Two is:
You’re doing a lot better than you think. You’re a match for this.
I love how this paraphrased Bible translation puts it.
We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it victoriously.
—1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Passion Translation)
The temptation you’re facing might be the temptation to give up. To settle. To lower your expectations because you were hurt last time. But whatever you’re up against, it’s not bigger than you can bear. The key is trust. Trust Jesus with it and keep those eyes open for your way of escape, your way of hope.
This post is AMAZING, Tracey! I really needed this today…. <3
I’m so, so glad it came at the right time, Nicole! <3 You've got this.
Good gracious, it’s like you were inside my mind. I relate to this post at such a deep level it’s scary!
TRACEY.
This. Was. Perfect!
I have pretty much spent my ENTIRE life living in the “Things will be so much better once I….” mentality. I have wasted so many years thinking that way, and not just living NOW. Enjoying the moments. Embracing the time God has given me. In fact, I was thinking out this very thing this morning! How I never seem to accept how my life IS, despite it being a beautiful life, one I should be so thankful for! It’s really just been in the past couple of years that I even realized I HAVE been living in that “well once THIS happens it’ll all be good” state. And I still have to fight it almost every single day.
I, too, am realizing being published doesn’t mean life will magically become all hearts and rainbows. Lol. In fact, it’ll just makes things HARDER. But that’s okay. Because pursuing your dreams is so worth the hardships that come with them. That’s so much better than giving up, than accepting the “Game Over” screen. 😉
I LOVED your point of how things we struggled with when we were younger aren’t even a problem anymore. It’s all a growing process. Thankfully, we’ve got an amazing Heavenly Father to help us along the way.
I seriously can’t even express how much I love this post. This is something I need to remember every day. THANK YOU for sharing this beautiful truth!
*wiggles fingers* OoooOOOOoo, I can read minds. xD
All joking aside, CHRISTINE, I swear every time you leave a reflective comment, you end up encouraging ME. I’ve lived in that future-minded place most of my life too, and while I guess it does help me get stuff done… it doesn’t help me enjoy the moment. I’ve had to remind myself of this about 859 times since writing this post. 😛
LOL, it’s true, the challenges just get bigger. But we grow stronger, and so does our trust in God. <3 Yep, no "Game Over" screen for us!
Exactly! <3
Thank you so much, my friend! *hugs* You're sweet!
Awwww… I really needed this right now. *wipes away a tear* You have a beautiful heart, Tracy. Thank you for sharing it with us. <3
I’m so very glad to hear that, E! *sends all the hugs* You make blogging worth it. <333
So much truth.
I have struggled so much recently with trying to figure out “that next step” because things are changing and I need to decide how to best use my time.
And then there’s that whole fear or failing or not feeling good enough yet so you continue in that “one day “ mentality.
Thanks for sharing <3
Yep, this all seems to get about 10x harder when life is changing and we’re trying to figure out where we’re going. 😛 Been there! (And I might still be there!) Keep being your amazing self, Soleil. One step at a time! <3
Absolutely love this! And I needed it today. My family has a couple busy weeks coming up, I’m trying to finish up some edits on my third novel, and fixing things in the second edition of my first novel. Grr. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much, Linda! Ack, sounds like a lot going on! I hope things fall into place as you take it step by step. <3 Sometimes priorities get reshuffled... and that's okay. Thank YOU for the comment! 😀
Amazing post! Super inspiring!
It’s all about the journey.
So glad to hear it, Skye! <3 It really is.
Lots of truth here! Thanks for sharing! I love thinking of myself as leveling up!
Glad you enjoyed it, Tori! <3 Keep beating those levels! 🙂
I just…this post. This post makes me so happy. I love this so, so much. Thanks for this, Tracey. <333