“I’m returning to my work-in-progress!” she announced to the world. “It’s been three months! I can’t wait to write again!” And everyone cheered.
But, dear reader, she did not in fact return to the novel she was supposed to edit until sixteen days later. She had good reasons for delaying—actual Reasons, not Excuses—but by the time she hauled out the laptop, notebook, sticky notes, pens, and spreadsheet… an insidious little something had time to kick in.
Self-Doubt.
Yes, between her zealous announcement and the actual action, her old friend returned to give her a poke in the ribs. Now, this “old friend” had reared its ugly head before, and she knew a few tricks for fending it off. But even so, Self-Doubt had a nasty habit of showing up from time to time and giving her a heckling when she least expected it.
It happened one day while she was reading. Hmm, this book’s character annoys me for reason XYZ. But… that sounds like MY story’s hero. Oh dear. He’s too this and not enough that. Future readers will hate him. I can just see the negative reviews now…
It happened again while she was researching literary agents. This agent is looking for something that my story is definitely not. And this one specifically says they never want to see YA fantasy—does ANYONE still represent it, or is the market really that overcrowded? Good luck finding someone to be a good fit for YOUR career.
But here’s the thing about Self-Doubt. He’s something of a magpie, mimicking the voices of more reputable birds.
Sometimes he sounds like logic and realism. “It’s just the way things are. Look how hard it is to break into that market.”
Sometimes he sounds like the voice of wisdom, helping you to avoid future pain. “There probably isn’t any room for you, so don’t get your hopes up.” Or, “Oh, that’s a problem you’d better fix. If you don’t, people will hate your story. You don’t want that, do you?”
Sometimes he sounds like the voice of real-life critics in your past.
Sometimes he sounds like experts who really do know what they’re talking about. “You should listen to that advice. Can’t you see they’ve been around that block before? They clearly know more than you do.”
And sometimes, Self-Doubt’s most biting tone sounds an awful lot like you.
What makes his voice so insidious, whether he screams in your face or whispers in your ear, is that his outrageous ideas are so skillfully mixed with truths and half-truths that his arguments seem sound.
But going back to our writer who was reading books and researching agents and watching her motivation begin to crumble. I said she had a few tricks up her sleeve, and she did. It’s a small arsenal of weapons that might come in handy next time you need to shut up Self-Doubt, too. After all, he seems to be the enemy of all creatives—and really, of all human beings—everywhere.
1. She remembered that she’s not done with this story yet, and that she has the capability to make it shine.
It’s called the revision process! She’d done it before, and she would do it again. “Self-Doubt,” said she, “you’re comparing an unfinished project with a finished product. I call foul.” She pointed to her past manuscripts. “Besides, look at my history. I have written ugly first drafts, yes, but I have had the patience to take them apart and put them back together again, polishing them to a shine. And I get better at it each time. Watch me do it again.”
2. She remembered what her writing friends have said about her manuscript.
The minute Self-Doubt called her protagonist’s qualities into question, she considered the accusation fairly. Was it an actual problem with this character of hers? But no, she found little evidence to substantiate Self-Doubt’s argument.
And then she remembered how this protagonist was her beta readers’ favorite character. She could practically hear their encouragement aloud, and those voices drowned out the doubt.
3. She remembered that one book cannot be all things.
She thought about her favorite books and how she loved so many different aspects of them. She loved one for its beautiful prose, another for its nuanced characters, and yet another for its gripping plot. She loved this one for its whimsical humor and that one for the themes that stuck with her years after closing the cover.
Then she thought about her own work-in-progress and what she intended for it to be when it was all grown up. Which was many things, but not all things. That, she concluded, was impossible and entirely unnecessary.
4. She remembered that every book is for a reader, but not every reader is for her book.
She thought back to a class taught by one of her favorite authors, Nadine Brandes, who said something along those lines. Just like one book cannot be all things, it can’t please all readers. Trying to please everyone would make exactly no one happy, least of all herself.
So our writer pictured her ideal reader and what that person loved the most. “This story,” she declared to Self-Doubt, “is going to be somebody’s favorite book one day.”
5. She remembered that although others have told similar stories, no one has told it like She will.
Even in a bustling world, there are never too many stories. No one has her voice. No one writes from her exact set of experiences. No one thinks precisely like her. Sure, things like avoiding plagiarism, finding unique angles, and using smart marketing are important. But a certain quote came back to her:
“Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.”
C.S. Lewis
5. And lastly, she remembered that the art she produces does not determine her worth.
It would be silly to say that what she makes is who she is, wouldn’t it? She has mixed up the two before, but she is learning (with her heart, not just her head) where to find her true value. And as wonderful as it is to create, that value sure doesn’t come from her creations. She is a lot more than Writer, Editor, or Teller of Tales.
She is Loved.
* * *
I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that “she” is me. And I’m not saying that any one of these “remembrances” or tactics will shut up Self-Doubt for good. He keeps coming back no matter how many books you’ve written or published, no matter how successful you are.
But I do believe that we can all get better at halting Self-Doubt’s sneak attacks before he can even gain momentum. We can learn to kick him in the teeth. When he does take us down, we can learn how to get help and climb back up.
And that goes for all of us, whether we are writers, artists, dancers, accountants, students, moms, grocery store clerks, or anything else.
P.S. I put out a call for blog post ideas on Instagram last night and got some great responses! If you didn’t see it there, feel free to drop your ideas in the comments here too! I’m in the process of figuring out how to post things that matter to YOU more, so fire away. Questions you have*, problems you face, things that you don’t hear talked about (but wish you did)… If it falls somewhere under the umbrella of STORY, either from the perspective of consuming story or creating story, I’m up for it!
*This can be as deep as “why does fiction matter?” or as light as “what color are your socks, Tracey?” Your choice. 😉
Amazing post, Tracey! I really needed to hear this today – self-doubt is such a rough voice to listen to. <333
I’m so glad it came at a good time, Nicole! <333 *hugs* Keep on writing and being your amazing self!
Yeah, Dean Wesley Smith calls that the Critical Voice. Its entire goal is to stop you from writing. He says to chase it into a corner and throw bricks at it until it shuts up. 😀 (And seriously, if you need a good kick in the Critical Voice, go read his blog series Killing the Sacred Cows of Publishing. Best pep talk ever.)
Exactly–we’ve got to keep chucking bricks! 😉 I’m checking out that series now–thanks for the recommendation, Kessie! He’s right that there’s no one way to do this writing thing.
Gah, I love this! That self-doubt is a killer, glad you’re finding ways to conquer it.
You’re the best, Skye! <3
THIS. POST. Oh my gracious. I just want to print it out and hang it on my wall! I haven’t even started on revisions for my next project yet, and I’ve already been wracked with basically ALL the doubts you’ve mentioned. Since I’m planning on diving into rewrites probably in about a week, this was so timely!
#3 ESPECIALLY hit me. Because I, too, keep thinking I need my story to have ALL the things. Amazing prose, the best characters ever, powerful themes, an original plot, a perfect balance of humor and emotion, etc., etc., etc. And though, yes, all stories need some of these, they don’t need ALL of them. We each have our writing strengths, and we should USE those to make our stories shine, not trying to use strengths we don’t even have. I’ve never found Marissa Meyer’s prose all that awe-worthy. Her writing style is VERY simple. And yet The Lunar Chronicles is one of the best series I’ve ever read, because it had OTHER things going for it, namely the characters. That’s her strength, and it made her stories shine. Allll that to say, THANK YOU FOR THAT REMINDER. It really hadn’t even occurred to me for my own writing until you so simply put it. “One book cannot be all things.” Yes, just yes. Whew, I needed that to more than I can express.
But ALL of these points are soooo important and needed. That C.S. Lewis quote is one of my favorites! (Lol, I say that about all his quotes. BUT IT’S TRUE. They’re all so good!)
And a big ol’ YESSS to #6. That’s one I’ve been especially reminding myself a lot lately–I am more than my stories and the content I put out there, they have nothing to do with my self worth. When you’re sooo tied into your writing life, sometimes it’s hard to separate yourself from it. So THANK YOU for reminding us that we are loved!
Thank you for this whole post! Self-doubt is a terrible thing, but absolutely something we all struggle with. It’s so good to have reminders like these to help us give that self-doubt a good kick.
(Also, if you’re doubting my dearest Hadrian STOP THIS INSTANT. HE IS PRACTICALLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. One of my top, top, TOP favorite fictional guys in the history of ever. *nods firmly* The whole cast of TBT is just… *clutches heart* There are no words. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! <333)
THAT’S THE KINDEST THING. THANK YOU. I’m honestly so, so excited about your next editing project–and I know you’ll do a smashing job. It’s a progression, and bit by bit you’ll make your story shine!
Right? I mean yes, ideally you want a mix of all (or most) of those things. But the balance of elements is going to be different for every story and every writer! We each excel in different areas. That’s SUCH a good point about TLC. I wasn’t wowed by the prose either, but I couldn’t stop turning pages and I 100% adore her characters (like you said!).
(It is true!!!)
We put so much heart and soul into our work that it IS really easy to over-identify with it. That’s something I have to reassess OFTEN.
*giant bear hugs* I’m so very glad this came at the right time–on the cusp of your new revisions! <3
(And oh my goodness, YOU DARLING. I don't even have words!!! <3333 Hadrian would probably turn ten shades of red to hear that. Thank you for being so encouraging!!!!)
Aaah this is an amazing post! It really inspired/encouraged me!
Aww, so happy to hear that, Sarah! Thanks for reading!! 😀
I love what you wrote, but also how you wrote it. I have to remind myself a lot that there is a readership out there somewhere for my books. Figuring out where though…
MB> keturahskorner.blogspot.com
PB> thegirlwhodoesntexist.com
Thank you, Keturah! That’s kind of you to say! 🙂 Yes, your readers are out there! Finding them can be the hard part sometimes though, I agree. XD
Hi there. I’m sorta new around here and I just wanted to say thank-you soo much for this post! I can totally relate, especially to the part where you said,
“It happened one day while she was reading. Hmm, this book’s character annoys me for reason XYZ. But… that sounds like MY story’s hero. Oh dear. He’s too this and not enough that. Future readers will hate him. I can just see the negative reviews now…”
Oh wow, that’s something I totally do. I sometimes struggle with serious self-doubt, and this has been very encouraging! Thank-you again and God bless!
Hey Lily! I’m DELIGHTED when new people show their faces around here, so thank you for being brave enough to comment! 😀
I’m really glad you found this encouraging. That self-doubt is a real kicker sometimes–but I find that the sooner I realize what I’m telling myself, the sooner I can shut it down.
Thanks again sooo much for stopping by!
I love your deep posts. ^ ^ Self-Doubt is such a cruel thing, but there are ways to fight back.
Aw, that means a lot, Tori! <3 It's crazy to think that sometimes we talk to ourselves worse than we would talk to anyone else.