Not far from Hobbiton, tucked away in the village of Bywater, stands the Green Dragon Inn. And within the cozy confines of this pub, a jolly good celebration is about to take place. The sounds of laughter—and downright guffaws, in some cases—is already filtering out into the early evening air.
Inside, warm golden light spills over a crowd that would ordinarily be much too big for the Green Dragon… yet somehow, the entire audience fits around the well-worn wooden tables. Perhaps Pippin persuaded a wizard or two to work some magic and broaden the space.
Which is a very good thing for this year’s hostess (yours truly), because her home has been a madhouse—first crammed full with sixty-five imp nominees, then with the five remaining pranksters—and it’s nice to have some room to breathe now. Even if it is rather loud and talkative in here.
As food and drink is passed around, a short, curly-haired hobbit hops up onto the center table. “Well then, I s’ppose we should get started!” he crows by way of announcement.
A roar of approval erupts from the readers and characters present.
“I’m Pippin, otherwise known as Peregrin Took, and I think we impish folk have worn our poor hostess out.” He sends a twinkling grin toward a young woman slumped in a chair in the back corner. From the look of her mussed bedhead and the dark circles under her eyes, she’s frazzled to the point of exhaustion. “Which is why,” Pippin continues, “I told her she could bow out of today’s ceremony. So you’re all stuck with ME for the rest of this party! But not to worry, I’ve done this gig a fair few times, and everything is under control.”
The timbered ceiling creaks warningly. But the audience is too busy cheering again to notice.
“So sit back and relax, enjoy some chocolate-coated cricket cake—”
Someone with a mouth full of said cake goes bug-eyed and spits it out.
“—and drink up! We’ve got loads of ginger ale and real ale to go around, and yes indeed, folks, it comes in pints! Now then.” Pippin digs in his trouser pockets—first one, then the other—and comes up empty-handed. “Where did I put my list?” He twists around as if to find it floating behind him.
A girl sitting at Pippin’s table pipes up in a Russian accent, “I heard a crinkling under your foot.”
Pippin lifts a big, hairy foot, to which is stuck a sheet of paper. “Ah, so ya did, Nastya. How in Middle Earth did it get there?”
Which is a rather naïve and silly question to ask in the presence of so many imps at the top of their game, but it can be forgiven.
Clearing his throat, Pippin smooths out the wrinkled list and begins. “We had a great showing this year, that’s for certain. Even I’ve been very nearly out-pranked by some of these fellows—and lasses,” he adds hastily. “But lest we be here all night and run out of ale, we’ll just talk about the top five. Tying with another character for fourth place is a master of misdirection, a whiskery sort of fellow with a penchant for sitting in trees.” He looks up. “Cheshire Cat, that’s you!”
But there is no Cheshire to be seen.
“Good grief,” says a golden-haired fellow wearing a scarlet blindfold. “If you’re all going to vote on a cat, at least have the good sense to vote for me next time.”
“Ya didn’t make it to the top five this year, Sir Eanrin,” Pippin scolds. “Ah, Cheshire? If you’re here, would ya… give us your famous grin? A tail twitch, at least?”
Screeches erupt from one of the back tables, then from the table next to it, and the next and the next—and on across the room in a wave—as people lift their feet and scan the floor for a disturbance. A plate of cake crashes down. Something thumps on Pippin’s table and then he sways as if that something just pounced on his head.
“Hey!” he yells.
A toothy grin appears above the hobbit’s curly locks. Then whiskers, two luminous eyes, and a pair of pointed ears. At last the body of the cat eases into sight. Cheshire curls his tail and tickles Pippin’s nose with it. “No need to holler, short one, I heard you the first time.”
Pippin sneezes, very nearly knocking the cat off his head. “Then why didn’t you come when I called?”
“Didn’t I? Or perhaps I didn’t come so much as I went. Coming and going, they’re both the same. It all depends on your perspective.”
“Eh?” Pippin frowns. “Oh, never mind all that. Like I said, Mr. Cheshire, you and someone else have tied for fourth place.”
“Ah, and who might that be?” Cheshire’s tail whisks in front of Pippin’s face again.
“Well, I’d read the name if I could see,” Pippin sputters, and dislodges the cat with a shake.
Cheshire, of course, lands very primly on the tabletop, narrowly missing a tankard of ale.
Once again, the ceiling creaks and groans.
“Ahem! Tying with the cat is a tricky young fellow, an orphan with an herb for a name and a good hand for weapons.”
A dandy-looking fellow in a flamboyant suit stands up and gives a flourishing bow. His earrings sparkle in the pub’s firelight. “Why thank you, my good man. I did expect to rank a little higher than a mere feline, but look at it this way. I have a whole year to improve my impish ways and beat the whole lot of you.”
Pippin looks confused. He checks his paper. “Um, Howl Pendragon? I’m quite certain you gathered lots of votes, but you’re not on my list of top nominees.”
“What?!” A second fellow in a matching suit jumps to his feet. “I’m Howl Pendragon! This boy is an imposter!”
The first Howl rolls his eyes. “Heavens, must you blow my cover so early, Pendragon?” He tugs off a blond wig and shrugs out of the suit, revealing a nondescript tunic and breeches beneath. “All right, you’ve got me, Pip. Sage reporting for the losing spot.”
Pippin laughs. “Oh come now, that was a right good disguise, old chap! No need to be sour.”
The colorful suit now lying on the floor begins to twitch.
“I say,” a boy in green with a feather in his cap exclaims. “Did you enchant your costume, Sage?”
“What?” Sage spins around. “No, I—”
A tiny fairy bursts out in a shower of golden pixie dust and a stream of unintelligible speech like the tinkling of a bell.
“Tink!” The boy in green, Peter Pan, exclaims. “Didja win this year? Righto! We can be winners together, since I snatched me a Silmaril of my own a few years ago!”
Tinker Bell flits right past Peter and zips around Sage’s head, pausing only to pull his ears and pinch his cheeks.
“Ow! Get off, you little insect!” Sage bats her away.
“Careful there!” Peter bellows. “She’s just telling you how very rude it was to take her napping spot! She was sleeping in the suit pocket till just now.”
“Well, tell your winged friend to find her own bedazzled suit next time,” Sage says crossly.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen, settle down!” Pippin waves his list in the air. “Tinker Bell has placed third! And now movin’ on to second place,” he continues over Peter’s shout of dismay at Tinker Bell’s rank. “This next character sure brings a lot of chaos wherever he goes, and there’s not much anyone can do about it, so he most definitely qualifies under the mischievous category. He—” Pippin breaks off and scratches his leg…
Then yelps upon finding a large, hairy spider crawling onto his hand.
At that moment, a hundred more spiders scuttle across tables, cakes, and feet alike. If the audience screamed before, they certainly scream all the more now.
A voice cackles, and a ghostly form flickers into view near the ceiling, doubled over in laughter.
Dancing away from another spider on the tabletop, Pippin yelps, “And that would be Peeves the poltergeist, resident of Ho-Hog-Hogwar—yipes!” He kicks an arachnid away and, unbalanced, just about falls off the table in the process.
In the back corner, the hostess who’d been let off the hook till now scrambles onto her chair and screams, “FRED AND GEORGE WEASELY, WOULD YOU COME AND GET THIS POLTERGEIST UNDER CONTROL?!”
Because if there’s anything the hostess hates, it’s spiders.
Twins with matching red hair—and wearing matching Silmaril medallions from 2017—jump from their seats. One of them digs something out of his pocket and throws it to the ground with a SHOOOOOM!
Red and yellow smoke explodes, obscuring the room from view. When it clears, the spiders have vanished.
The other twin plants his hands on his hips and glares up at the ghostly figure. “Hey there Peeves! What’d we say about the spiders? Once was quite enough!”
Peeves has the dignity to look a tiny bit chagrined.
“Thank you, boys.” Pippin straightens his cloak and returns to his list. “And now then, without ANY further ado, I’d like to announce this year’s winning imp… Pet!“
“Flamin’ heck?!” A teenaged girl leaps from her chair. She’s managed to hang onto one spider, still cupped in the palm of her hand. “Me?”
“Yep!” Pippin grins. “Hailing all the way from Hobart, Australia—which our hostess Tracey tells me is oddly close to Middle Earth, by some reckonings—young Pet is an orphan like Sage. But unlike him, she falls in with some decidedly supernatural companions. Her spunk, spirited wit, and shenanigans have won her this year’s Most Mischievous Imp Silmaril. Come on up here, Pet!”
“Strike a light! You’ve got to be crackers, Mr. Took. Why the heck did I win?” Even as she speaks, Pet bounds up to Pippin’s table. And Pippin looks quite uneasy at the look of another spider in such close vicinity.
But somewhere in the space between Pet speaking and clambering up beside the hobbit, something curious happens. Where Pippin’s cloak was once clasped by a Leaf of Lorien brooch, a brilliant green frog appears.
Poor Pippin shrieks and falls right off the table. The frog takes a chance at freedom and springs off Pippin’s chest and into some shadowy corner of the Green Dragon, much to the laughter of the audience.
A finely dressed Korean vampire with a dangerous aura glares at Pet. “Ya! Paboya, Petteu!”
Pet sticks her tongue out at him. “Right back atcha, JinYeong.”
But both she and the vampire have a gleam in their eyes as if sharing an inside joke.
“You alright there?” Pet leans down to give Pippin a hand and heaves him back onto the table. By now, the spider has crawled onto her shoulders.
“Just got the wind knocked out of me, is all. But that thing you’ve got there from Peeves looks an awful lot like a spawn of Shelob…”
“This lil’ bloke?” Pet plucks it off her shoulder and strokes its furry back. “This didn’t come from Peeves. It’s a little something I picked up from Between.”
“Between what now?”
“But,” she continues, “seeing as this is an awards ceremony that I’ve won…” She stares at the spider in her hand and furrows her brow in concentration. “You’re not a wee spider, you want to be a pint. Yep, you’re a big, ol’ frothin’ pint.”
And before anyone can blink, the spider expands and rounds out, one leg curling into a handle and presto, it’s a tankard in Pet’s hand. She hands it to Pippin. “Seeing as I’ve won, how about a toast?”
Pippin looks relieved. “Oh yes, that I can do!” He raises the tankard high. “A toast to Pet, the greatest imp of 2021!”
And then to a rousing chorus of cheers and clinking mugs, Pippin downs a swallow… only to spew it out. “Blech! What sort of ale is this?!”
“Ale?” Pet shakes her head. “It’s black coffee, that’s what it is. I make it for my three psychos all the time.”
The vampire in the audience—and his two companions—raise their own glasses in agreement.
Pippin wipes his mouth on his sleeve. “Yes, well, not exactly what I was expectin’ when you said pint. Ah well, all’s forgiven. Here’s your Silmaril, miss!” And he digs a blue-ribboned, golden medallion rather unceremoniously from his pocket and drapes it around Pet’s neck. “Cheers!”
Pet whistles. “Flaming heck, that’s a pretty stone. Thanks, everyone! Come down to Hobart sometime and visit me, yeah?” And with that, she hops off the table.
Pippin heaves a tremendous sigh. “Whew, what did I say about being out-pranked this year, eh?”
Before he can finish wrapping up the ceremony, however, the ceiling lets out one final groan and begins contracting at the edges, pulling the pub’s walls inward at an alarming rate. Tables scrape along the floor and chairs still full of people are pushed together. More than one person gets a face full of cake in all the squishiness. An uproar of panic sends people climbing over each other and shoving for the exits.
“Oh dear,” Pippin cries, “I’m afraid I didn’t borrow enough expanding magic from the Weasleys to keep the Green Dragon big enough for us all! Time to go!” He leaps off the table and, along with the flood of scrambling readers and characters, makes a run for the door, calling over his shoulder, “Don’t forget, Wisest Counselor is being announced tomorrow! RUN!”
With that chaotic ending, my dear readers, I leave you with this year’s final breakdown of votes:
- Cheshire Cat (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) // 17.22%
- Sage (The Ascendance series) // 17.22%
- Tinker Bell (Peter Pan) // 19.87%
- Peeves (Harry Potter series) // 21.19%
- Pet (City Between series) // 24.50%
And here’s the schedule for any festivities you may have missed, along with all the festivities still to come! (Links shall be updated as soon as posts are published/as soon as I can get to them.)
- Monday, Sep 20 – Silver Tongue
- Tuesday, Sep 21 – Strangest Character
- Wednesday, Sep 22 – Most Epic Heroine
- Thursday, Sep 23 – Most Mischievous Imp (You are here)
- Friday, Sep 24 – Wisest Counselor
- Monday, Sep 27 – Most Faithful Friend
- Tuesday, Sep 28 – Most Magnificent Dragon
- Wednesday, Sep 29 – Least Competent Henchman
- Thursday, Sep 30 – Most Nefarious Villain
- Friday, Oct 1 – Most Epic Hero
- Saturday, Oct 2 – Most Magnificent Ruler
HUZZAH FOR PET! And oh my, this was delightful! Everyone showing off their trickster-ness in different ways! The chaos! The Cheshire Cat being, well, the most cattish I’ve seen him at any awards ceremony! Sage disguising himself as Howl! The, ahem, brooch-frog! Pippin’s reaction to coffee (which, let’s be real, Pet and the Troika — aside from Athelas — probably DO drink by the pint, practically speaking). PET WON! And the ending! Just the kind of madness I’d hope for from such a ceremony!
(Also: City Between is up to three Silmarils now! HUZZAH!)
She’s well-deserving, that rascally girl! Haha, I’m SO very glad you enjoyed all the chaos and shenanigans. It was a blast to write, contrary to my fictional self’s beleaguered state. XD (The three psychos MUST drink coffee by the pint. I wouldn’t be one bit surprised.)
(What! Good for them! I clearly need to catch up on all the awards posts…)
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What a lovely romp! You did a smash up job with this one, Tracey. My favorite bits were the Cheshire Cat and Sage pretending to be Howl and the ending. I was wondering what might happen with the ceiling and that was such a fitting way to end everything. I also think you did a wonderful job with Pippin. Basically, with all the characters I knew. Based on how you wrote those, I’m sure you did fabulously with the others I didn’t know as well. Bravo!
Why thank you, DJ! I’m delighted you enjoyed it. 😀 Cheshire was a blast to write, and he was always one of my favorite Wonderland characters. And of course Sage had to come in disguise, haha. Thank you again for all your kind words!
OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
This was SO. MUCH. FUN!!!
I was grinning from start to finish! You absolutely NAILED these mischievous imps! I adored the setting too. It felt so cozy and fun–I truly felt like I was right there enjoying the chaos!
Cheshire appearing on Pippin’s head was PERFECT. And though I’ve yet to read Sage’s story, him posing as Howl made me laugh so hard! (And you KNOW I was squealing at the Howl cameo. And the Eanrin one tooo! :D) Literally just ALL the hijinks and character appearance had me grinning and giggling from start to finish. This was such a blast!
And yay Pet! That’s her second win this year! :O Shamefully I still haven’t read her books but she sounds like the BEST and I 100% plan on devouring them SOON.
This was just so amazing! *APPLAUDS*
Oh goodness, coming from last year’s impish queen, this is high praise! Thanks so muuuch! <3
I don't know where the idea for the Green Dragon as a setting came from, but it felt right. ^_^
Haha, hearing you enjoyed the little cameos and Easter eggs makes me SO HAPPY. (I couldn't pass up a chance to slip Eanrin in there, I just couldn't.)
Congrats to Pet--times two! She definitely deserves the praise. And oh, Christine, after binging the first City Between book, I can promise you that you're going to LOVE IT. *heart eyes* Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it!
Thank you again, my dear!!! <3
This was so much fun!!!!
And huzzah for Pet! I love her to bits and I’ve only just met her, really… but The City Between is my Silmaril-Awards-Inspired read this year and so far I’m NOT AT ALL SORRY about it! 🙂
The pranks were inspired and fabulous. You did a FABULOUS job with Pippen and all the characters I know! (I don’t know Sage, but he’ll have to wait a bit further down my TBR) 🙂
I kept wondering what was going on with the ceiling and I did NOT AT ALL see that coming!
Also loved the nods to Peter Pan and the Weasley twins! Yay!
Thanks, Jenelle!!! 😀
I adore that girl too, and this is based only on my knowledge of book 1 (which I binged in the course of a day, 100% inspired by the Silmaril Awards… and now I simply MUST collect the rest of the series).
Ahh, I’m so glad Pippin came across well! I’m always the most nervous about portraying the LOTR characters. And I think you’ll quite enjoy Sage and his series. 😉
LOL, glad I could pull a little surprise there at the end! Sooo happy you enjoyed the shenanigans. Thanks again!
That was delightful! You wrote Pet so perfectly (and I loved having JinYeong there, too- and a brooch frog instead of a tie frog!!) Two Silmarils for Pet!
Why thank you! Wrangling these imps into the same room was an absolute riot, and I’m happy you enjoyed the end result! (I simply HAD to involve JinYeong, haha.) Congrats to Pet on her double win!
Yessss, go Pet! You can definitely tell you’ve read TCB. 😂
We’ve dominated this year’s Silmarils with City Between characters. 😅 We’re only four ceremonies in and we’ve already nabbed three Silmarils and a second place.
Oh whew! I binged the first book before writing this post, because A) the series sounds amazing, and B) I very much wanted to do Pet justice. It’s a relief to hear it worked! XD
And I’m so happy for all the City Between folks! Based on the first book, all the praise is well deserved. You’d better believe I’m planning to buy the rest of the series. <3
Yesss this was amazing!! I LOVE how you wrote every character–Cheshire’s part was absolutely delightful–and Pet! Pet was so good!! This has got to be one of my favorite award ceremonies yet 🙂
THANK YOU, girl! <3 I'm always relieved to hear the characters come across well--because dang, writing "fan fic" can be intimidating. XD
Every word of this post was so delightful and enjoyable–and mischievous! I loved all the character bits (Howl!) and I’m excited for Pet’s win! Huzzah! (Also oh my word, you literally had JY speak Korean in this post. XD) I’d comment about all my favorite parts but that would be the whole thing. XD Congrats to Pet and thanks for sharing such a smashingly amazing post!!
Oh, thank you so much! I had SUCH fun getting into character. This might’ve been one of my favorite Silmaril posts to write, actually. 😀 (And after meeting JinYeong for myself, I knew I absolutely HAD to throw in at least one Korean phrase. I couldn’t help myself. xD) Haha, awww, you’re too sweet, Deb. Thank youuuu!!!
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The pure amount of chaos in this presentation is insane and I am living for it, well done Tracey XD And DANG PET WON ANOTHER AWARD?? City Between is crushing it this year!!
Bahaha, thank you, Maddie! Things got a liiiiittle crazy in there. XD I’m so proud of Pet for her double wins! She deserves it–and hopefully it inspires more readers to pick up the series like it did for me!
This was so fun!!! All the imps we’re amazing, and somehow, I felt quite at home. I loved all the cameos!
This settles it, I must read City Between! What is the first book, do you know?
Between Jobs is the first book. 🙂
Ooh, thank you!
Aww, that’s the BEST compliment! Thank you so much, Rebekkah!
Oh goodness, you’re going to LOVE it! Carina is right, the first book is Between Jobs. I just read it recently and absolutely adored all the snark and fae magic and character dynamics. 😀
Wow!! Everyone was in-character and I enjoyed it so much- and the brooch frog was PERFECT. Love this! Congrats Pet!! 🎉🎉
Thanks SO much, Carina! Hearing from fans of the series that the characters and Easter eggs came across accurately is awesome. Three cheers for our dear Pet! 😀
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This post was AWESOME, Tracey! I had so much fun reading it, and all the characters were spot on! Love how you brought our Korean vamp into the mix!! XD
Thanks so much!!! It was an absolute delight to write. 😀 And I couldn’t write about Pet without including Jin Yeong! He might be my favorite character in the series so far. XD
AHHHHH. THIS WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST, TRACEY.
I was laughing and grinning so hard during this whole thing. And I am ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that Pet took home TWO Silmarils this year! (I agree with what other commenters have said; you wrote her PERFECTLY!)
So many incredible moments in this ceremony! The chocolate-coated cricket cake, Sage disguising as Howl, Cheshire’s dialogue, Fred and George showing up to wrangle Peeves, the brooch frog, JinYeong literally speaking Korean, Pippin mentioning that Hobart was rather close to Middle-earth, the coffee pint…AHHH, I just loved it so much.
AMELIEEEE! Thanks so much! <3
I'm DELIGHTED that these imps brought out some giggles! That's exactly what I was hoping for, haha. I'll admit that knowing Pet won was what finally pushed me to read Between Jobs (I binged it a few days before this post went up)... and now I 100% have to collect the rest of the series and read more!
Haha, awww, thanks for your highlight reel!!! 😀
Okay, I think this might be my favorite ceremony that I’ve read so far. All the jokes and Easter eggs and references were spot-on, even if I didn’t necessarily know them all. (The Eanrin cameo made me snort with amusement, so . . . there you go. XD) It also sounded like you did your research for all these characters, because they sounded perfect to me. So well done on yet another great awards post!
Oh gosh, thanks, Josiah! 😀 Slipping in Easter eggs is one of my favorite things about Silmaril hosting! (Bahaha, good ol’ Eanrin.) Thanks so much for the encouraging comment! Can’t wait to read your post… very, very belatedly. But still. It promises to be a riot. 😉
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